Red Sauce for Pasta and Pizza

Now that we have dough we need sauce.

A simple red sauce is incredibly easy. In theory. Getting it just right for your taste is a different story.  Do you want a sauce that highlights the fresh tomato taste, or a rich sauce that is heavy on the herbs and loaded with red wine? I prefer the latter, but whatever.

The basics are this: tomatoes and onion. You can dump a can of tomatoes into a pot, toss in a half of an onion, and cook for 20 minutes or so. How hard is that?

Since there are a million recipes online I wasn't even sure I should write this post. My point is not to give you a sure fire recipe, but to share what I have learned in the million times I have made it.

Since I am lazy, I use the same sauce for everything. Pasta, pizza, meatball sandwiches. Everything. I don't have a recipe for my sauce, but I will try to describe my method.

Like I said, I prefer a heavy sauce. You can use a recipe at first, but you will quickly see how easy it is to just wing it. I start with a can of tomato sauce (tomato sauce is one of the few things we use out of a can because peeling and seeding fresh tomatoes is a pain in the butt. We all have our limits, you guys.) I use a small can when it is just Hannah and I, and a large can when the gang is all here.

I then add oregano, basil, and thyme. It's basically 3 parts oregano, 2 parts basil, 1 part thyme. For a small can of sauce, maybe 1 teaspoon of oregano. You can always add more. 1-2 cloves of diced garlic. Half a yellow onion, diced. Next, a healthy pinch of salt and a few grinds of black pepper. Finally, I pour some of the contents of my wine glass into the pot. Simmer for at least 10 minutes until it is the desired thickness. You can always add some tomato paste to thicken it up.

A few tips. One, keep the heat low! If you try to bring it to a simmer too quickly, it will spit sauce all over your stove and your shirt. Two, keep it at a low simmer, not a boil. Three, use yellow onions instead of white. I read somewhere that there is nearly no difference in taste, but yellow onions have more of the chemical that makes your eyes water, which goes away when you cook them. If you are cooking them, yellow. If eating raw, white.

Finally, and most important, I was intentionally vague in giving amounts. This sauce is best when it is exactly what you want it to be. Don't be beholden to a recipe. This means you will be tasting it a dozen times while cooking. Add herbs and salt slowly. Learn by experience what you like. Can't taste the garlic? add a bit more. And, as usual, never underestimate the power of salt. If your sauce tastes a bit bland and you can't figure out why, add more salt. If you add too much, you can always put some more tomato sauce in the pot and it will dilute the salt.

Dough and Pizza

I'm going to admit right away that I am not much of a baker. And by not much, I mean not at all. But two things that usually go over well in this house are pizza and pita, and they both involve dough. We used to buy pizza dough from our local bakery, until I realized how stupid it was to pay $4 for something I could make for 20 cents.

We have been doing this for some time, so I can give a few tips. First, you need a KitchenAid mixer. If you don't already have one, it is the single best investment you can make for your long term happiness. Don't buy one new. Ever. There are a million of them on Craigslist from people who thought they might one day like to take up cooking. They are $300 new and I got mine that was a "wedding present, used once" for $45.

Second, waiting for dough to rise is what kills it for everyone. Who is going to come home from work and wait 2 1/2 hours before they can begin cooking dinner? Me, I guess, but I'm a bit weird. Luckily, you can speed up the process.

What you need to do is get the dough to 110 degrees and keep it there for 35 minutes or so, until it doubles in volume. There are a few ways to go here. I use a food dehydrator that someone gave me. I would never buy one because I'm a fan of hydration and that machine is sort of the opposite, but it works brilliantly. Another way is if you have a super-fancy oven with a proofing setting. Since we all suck at life, I assume no one has such a thing.

The last, and most practical way is to use a bread maker. Again, never buy one new. I got mine for $5 off of Craigslist because it was missing an important part. I went to a big box store and stole the part out of the display model. Okay, the real story is that I went to the store intending to steal the part, then I felt guilty and just ordered it online for $3.

If you get a bread maker, you technically don't need a mixer. They all have a setting to just mix and proof the dough, but you should get a mixer anyway. They make your life better.

The best part about this dough is that the same recipe can be used for bread, pizza dough, and pitas. We just use it for pizza and pita, but bread would be the same. I don't bake my own bread. I tried, but it made me feel like a girl and it was stale the next day.

One more pro tip: if you are single because you can't find anyone who will put up with your bullshit, this will make much more than you can eat in one sitting. Have no fear, this stuff freezes well. After the dough rises, we just cut it in half and put the other half into a ziploc bag and toss it into the freezer. Since I am an idiot, I always forget about the dough in the freezer. We currently have about 11 bags up there.

When you first start making dough, you will be annoyed and feel like a moron. You will never, ever get the ratio of flour and water correct the first time. It isn't you, it's us stupid Americans. We measure flour by volume, not weight. When you measure out that perfect cup of flour, scraping off the top with a knife, it is no guarantee that it is anything close to what you need. Have no fear.

What you do is just wing it. Scoop some flour into the mixing bowl an see what happens. If, after a few minutes in the mixer, it doesn't form a ball, add a bit of water. If it is sticking to the bottom of the bowl, add a bit of flour. One word of caution: add water or flour slowly. How many times have I added too much water, then too much flour, then too much water, only to end up with 8 pounds of useless dough? I don't want to talk about it. One tablespoon at a time, you guys.

It should be sticky, but if you touch it and some sticks to your fingers, more flour. If it isn't sticky, more water.

So here it is:

3 cups flour
1 cup warm water (about as warm as you would wash your hands in)
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 pack active dry yeast (or 2 tsp if you have the big jar, as you should)

That's it.

First, measure out a cup of warm water. Add the sugar. Add the yeast. Let it sit in a warm place until it gets all foamy, 10-15 minutes or so.

Meanwhile, add the other ingredients to your mixer. When the yeast is all foamy, pour it into the bowl and set your mixer going with the dough hook. Check after a few minutes to see if you need to add more water or flour. Leave it going for 5 minutes.

When everything looks good, you will need to let it rise. I use the mixer bowl since it's already dirty. Pour in about 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil and rub it all around the bowl. Then rub the dough in the oil to make sure nothing sticks. Cover the bowl and put it in whatever warm thing you have chosen.

When the dough has risen, turn it out onto a floured surface. This is where we cut it in half and freeze the half we won't use. This recipe will make about 2 12" pizzas, so cut it in half and use both for 4 people.

The cut dough will be an odd shape, so I just manhandle that beast until it bows to my will. Once you have a roundish shape, cover it and let it sit for 10 minutes or so while you have a glass of wine with your friends and look at them in the most smug and condescending way you possibly can.

Finally, roll it out or just mash it with your fingers until it is pizza-shaped. The easiest way to bake pizza is to take a cookie sheet, turn it over, and sprinkle with corn meal to prevent sticking. Then, place your rolled out dough on the sheet, cover with sauce, cheese, and toppings. Bake at a super high temp until done.

I call this "Soup"

This one is a bit tough for me. My friend from Laos has been teaching me to cook, but won't provide measurements. Not only that, she won't slow down long enough for me to see what is going on or ask any questions.

This is completely trial and error, but well worth the effort. I'm hoping Meagan will jump in with some tips or corrections, since we accidentally reproduced the deliciousness once.

If you want to do this properly, you need to do it like my friend. First, wear latex gloves while you cook. Second, before and after you chop anything, wash the knife and cutting board for 5 minutes, even though they were clean when you picked them up. Third, after you wash anything, put it in a dishwasher full of clean dishes.

I know that last bit makes no sense. I have watched it happen a dozen times, and I can promise you that it makes no more sense to me than it does to you.

Anyhow:

1. 1 can coconut milk
2. 2 handfuls of medium sized shrimp (about 10? ish?)
3. 1 bunch green onion, green parts only
4. 1/3 cup white onion
5. 1 tsp chili paste (I can't read their words, so pictures to follow. just go to a good Asian market and ask for the aisle where they keep delicious stuff.)

6. 1/2 tsp tom sum (again, should be in the delicious aisle.)
7. Shallots, garlic, ginger to taste. I'd start with one shallot, 1 large clove of garlic, and about 1 inch of ginger (you still have that ginger in the freezer, right?)

8. About 1 tsp Knorr tamarind soup base (will someone please experiment with real tamarind, whatever the hell tamarind is?)

9. 2 chili peppers. I use the dried red peppers in a plastic bag from the "ethnic" section of the grocery store.
10. 1 tsp fish sauce

Add coconut milk to sauce pan, heat on high until boiling. Add ginger, shallots, garlic, tom sum, chili paste. Boil down until browned.

Add 1 cup-ish water, tamarind, fish sauce, and salt to taste.

Cut shrimp in half lengthwise and toss in with diced onion, green onion, and chili peppers. Bring to a boil and cook until shrimp are cooked, about 3 minutes.

One last note, don't worry about the heat. The burner was always on high, it was always boiling at a furious rate, and she never once looked to see if it was burning.

Heidi & Haley's chocolate chocolate chip pancakes

1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
3 tbsp sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
Whisk dry ingredients together.

1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 stick butter (melted)
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
Whisk wet ingredients together.

Combine both bowls of ingredients and whisk in 3/4 cups of mini chocolate chips.  Cook on griddle at about 325.

Kurt & Hannah's One Pot Mac & Cheese

I thought Hannah was crazy when she started pouring milk into the pot to boil our macaroni noodles in, but turns out they have a secret recipe and she was totally right. Anyway, this is their recipe but I wanted to share it because it was amazing.

Ingredients

2 cups large elbow macaroni, uncooked (about 1/2 lb)

2 cups low fat milk (about 16 oz), or more if needed

1 tablespoon butter

1/2 teaspoon mustard powder

1 teaspoon salt, plus additional for final season later

generous dash of nutmeg

1 cup grated cheese, (gruyere, jack, cheddar, swiss, mozzarella, gouda,)

black pepper to taste (optional)

Directions

1. Rinse raw macaroni under water.

2. In medium sauce pan, add milk, raw macaroni, salt, butter, mustard powder and nutmeg.

3. On medium heat, slowly bring milk/macaroni mixture to a simmer, stirring the macaroni frequently as it comes up to a simmer. (It comes to a boil very quickly so don’t let it overflow.)

4. Once mixture comes to a simmer, immediately turn down heat to low. Macaroni will slowly cook in the milk.

5. Continue to stir the mixture frequently so that macaroni will cook evenly and absorb milk evenly.

6. Cook for about 15-20 minutes or until milk has been fully absorbed. (If macaroni isn’t fully cooked, add a little more milk or water to mixture until macaroni is fully cooked.)

7. When milk has evaporated, stir in grated cheese.

8. Turn off heat. Place lid on top of pan and cover for about 5 minutes to allow macaroni to plump up and absorb any excess milk.

9. Add additional salt to taste and stir one final time to mix everything together.

Quinoa and black beans

It has come to my attention, that some of you out there think that you're too cool, anti-hipster, or very worried about smallholder farmers in Peru and thus can't eat quinoa. While I can support any of those reasons, I think quinoa is delicious and you should stop thinking so much and just try it.  Anyway here's my secret quinoa and black beans recipe.  Simple, quick, healthy and delicious.

Ingredients

1 teaspoon vegetable oil

1 onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped

3/4 cup uncooked quinoa

1 1/2 cups vegetable broth

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

salt and pepper to taste

1 cup frozen corn kernels

2 (15 ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Sour cream

Grated cheddar, monterey jack, or pretty much any kind of cheese

Directions

Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the onion and garlic, and saute until lightly browned. Mix quinoa into the saucepan and cover with vegetable broth. Season with cumin, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper. Bring the mixture to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 20 minutes. Stir frozen corn into the saucepan, and continue to simmer about 5 minutes until heated through. Mix in the black beans and cilantro for those non-cilantro-haters, or sour cream and cheese for the cilantro-haters.

Vinaigrette

Vinaigrette is a funny thing. It's ridiculously simple, requiring just two ingredients, but the possible variations are limited only by the number of ingredients on the planet.

Everyone should know how to make a vinaigrette. It takes less than 2 minutes and will surely be the most versatile thing you will ever make. It's the only salad dressing I use, but can also be a sauce for chicken, fish, potatoes, nearly anything you consume. It's a great base for marinating meat and vegetables, and is perfect on grilled vegetables.

There is no one recipe, just a basic ratio (which is also up to you.) Normally it's about 3 parts olive oil to 1 part vinegar. Because I love vinegar in a way that you never will, I use equal parts oil and vinegar. Oil and vinegar is the beginning, the rest is up to your imagination.

It is as simple as pouring oil, vinegar, and whatever else you can dream up into a jar and shaking it up. There is the cumbersome process of emulsification, but I'm too lazy to even describe emulsification, much less do it (although, if you are going to use it on pasta salad, which you should, do some research and figure it out).

I always add a pinch of salt and a twist of pepper. I think the salt mellows the bite of the vinegar, but not sure why.

The first thing you should try is the classic french dressing. It's a basic vinaigrette (oil, vinegar, salt, pepper) with a bit of dijon or brown mustard. Delish. (If you want to get ambitious, add finely diced shallots. +5 Delish.)

We once used red wine vinegar, blended in some roasted red pepper, and a bit of heavy cream and used it on grilled salmon. One bite and I had a sudden (and quite disturbing) urge to take my clothes off and... well, I suppose no one wants me to finish that story, so I'll just quit. Suffice to say it was a spiritual experience.

Fresh herbs? For sure. Black olives (good ones, not from a can!), garlic, capers, mustard, lemon juice, and an anchovy fillets? Blend it all up for liquid heaven. I've actually considered dipping the butt of an unsmoked cigarette in some leftover vinaigrette in order to combine the two most delicious things I know of. Buy some ingredients, and then add oil and vinegar to make them better. It's just that easy.

A final thought about the actual process: this is the most foolproof thing you will ever make. Too much oil for your taste? Just add a bit more vinegar. Too much salt? More oil, more vinegar. Too much vinegar? Haha, trick question. There is no such thing as too much vinegar.

A word about the oil and vinegar. The extra virgin olive oil you buy at the grocery store likely does not contain much, if any, actual olive oil. The vinegar you buy from the store is nearly inedible. I'm lucky in that I have a store less than a block away that sells nothing but oil and vinegar and the whole world is jealous of me.

I promise you it's worth a Google and a drive to find a specialty store. Even if you don't love vinegar as much as I do (and you don't), spend a few minutes trying different olive oils and vinegars. Some olive oil can be extremely strong, and sherry vinegar might seem like a kick in the teeth on your first try. Figure out which ones suit your taste, then put them on everything you eat.

If you honestly love the people you cook for, few things in the world will show them the depth of your love like a good (or even average) vinaigrette.