Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Dough and Pizza

I'm going to admit right away that I am not much of a baker. And by not much, I mean not at all. But two things that usually go over well in this house are pizza and pita, and they both involve dough. We used to buy pizza dough from our local bakery, until I realized how stupid it was to pay $4 for something I could make for 20 cents.

We have been doing this for some time, so I can give a few tips. First, you need a KitchenAid mixer. If you don't already have one, it is the single best investment you can make for your long term happiness. Don't buy one new. Ever. There are a million of them on Craigslist from people who thought they might one day like to take up cooking. They are $300 new and I got mine that was a "wedding present, used once" for $45.

Second, waiting for dough to rise is what kills it for everyone. Who is going to come home from work and wait 2 1/2 hours before they can begin cooking dinner? Me, I guess, but I'm a bit weird. Luckily, you can speed up the process.

What you need to do is get the dough to 110 degrees and keep it there for 35 minutes or so, until it doubles in volume. There are a few ways to go here. I use a food dehydrator that someone gave me. I would never buy one because I'm a fan of hydration and that machine is sort of the opposite, but it works brilliantly. Another way is if you have a super-fancy oven with a proofing setting. Since we all suck at life, I assume no one has such a thing.

The last, and most practical way is to use a bread maker. Again, never buy one new. I got mine for $5 off of Craigslist because it was missing an important part. I went to a big box store and stole the part out of the display model. Okay, the real story is that I went to the store intending to steal the part, then I felt guilty and just ordered it online for $3.

If you get a bread maker, you technically don't need a mixer. They all have a setting to just mix and proof the dough, but you should get a mixer anyway. They make your life better.

The best part about this dough is that the same recipe can be used for bread, pizza dough, and pitas. We just use it for pizza and pita, but bread would be the same. I don't bake my own bread. I tried, but it made me feel like a girl and it was stale the next day.

One more pro tip: if you are single because you can't find anyone who will put up with your bullshit, this will make much more than you can eat in one sitting. Have no fear, this stuff freezes well. After the dough rises, we just cut it in half and put the other half into a ziploc bag and toss it into the freezer. Since I am an idiot, I always forget about the dough in the freezer. We currently have about 11 bags up there.

When you first start making dough, you will be annoyed and feel like a moron. You will never, ever get the ratio of flour and water correct the first time. It isn't you, it's us stupid Americans. We measure flour by volume, not weight. When you measure out that perfect cup of flour, scraping off the top with a knife, it is no guarantee that it is anything close to what you need. Have no fear.

What you do is just wing it. Scoop some flour into the mixing bowl an see what happens. If, after a few minutes in the mixer, it doesn't form a ball, add a bit of water. If it is sticking to the bottom of the bowl, add a bit of flour. One word of caution: add water or flour slowly. How many times have I added too much water, then too much flour, then too much water, only to end up with 8 pounds of useless dough? I don't want to talk about it. One tablespoon at a time, you guys.

It should be sticky, but if you touch it and some sticks to your fingers, more flour. If it isn't sticky, more water.

So here it is:

3 cups flour
1 cup warm water (about as warm as you would wash your hands in)
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 pack active dry yeast (or 2 tsp if you have the big jar, as you should)

That's it.

First, measure out a cup of warm water. Add the sugar. Add the yeast. Let it sit in a warm place until it gets all foamy, 10-15 minutes or so.

Meanwhile, add the other ingredients to your mixer. When the yeast is all foamy, pour it into the bowl and set your mixer going with the dough hook. Check after a few minutes to see if you need to add more water or flour. Leave it going for 5 minutes.

When everything looks good, you will need to let it rise. I use the mixer bowl since it's already dirty. Pour in about 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil and rub it all around the bowl. Then rub the dough in the oil to make sure nothing sticks. Cover the bowl and put it in whatever warm thing you have chosen.

When the dough has risen, turn it out onto a floured surface. This is where we cut it in half and freeze the half we won't use. This recipe will make about 2 12" pizzas, so cut it in half and use both for 4 people.

The cut dough will be an odd shape, so I just manhandle that beast until it bows to my will. Once you have a roundish shape, cover it and let it sit for 10 minutes or so while you have a glass of wine with your friends and look at them in the most smug and condescending way you possibly can.

Finally, roll it out or just mash it with your fingers until it is pizza-shaped. The easiest way to bake pizza is to take a cookie sheet, turn it over, and sprinkle with corn meal to prevent sticking. Then, place your rolled out dough on the sheet, cover with sauce, cheese, and toppings. Bake at a super high temp until done.



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